It’s taken me long enough, but I’ve finally grown a little disillusioned with certain things about home. Tolerance isn’t exactly a thing here, and judgement seems to be the currency of power so potent that it gave birth to STOMP– a local site that is synonymous with citizen journalism, vigilantism, and shaming. It took me living away from home and then coming back to a year of being shocked by certain things friends and family do or say like it’s nothing to finally see that the status quo I grew up with is not how I want to live my life.
Did my values change, all that time living away from home? Or did I just get better at reading my surroundings? There’s still so many things I love about Singapore, but I don’t know just how much I will be able to straddle living life the way I really want to and caring about the connections I’ve fostered over the past two decades… it’s been plaguing me on and off for the past year now, but I’ve shied away from penning my thoughts until I remembered that I’d wanted to be more open about myself some time last year. I guess I forgot.
Here’s an outfit in which Pa would probably throw his oft-quoted phrase at me, “the nail that sticks out will get hammered in”. I never actually try to dress to be different from anyone else, but sometimes my choices in clothing just comes across as such because of course no one else will wear such bright colours. Then again, being happy over experiments in colour isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
But it is for me.